How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
