i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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