stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
