u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
