I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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