So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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