Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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