You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
