she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
