i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
