wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
