as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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