I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
