good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
