I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
