I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Randomize
