My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I supernannyed him into submission
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
His nipple licking is glorious
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