how can u be prego again
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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