i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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