But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
