I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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