Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
