i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
