You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
