She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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