Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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