i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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