I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Jerry, you need to find god
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
