In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
