Your tits are I can't wait for
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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