just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
