I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
