Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
