Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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