I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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