Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Are my feet made of real feet?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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