it's too hot outside to masturbate.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
