good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
