ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
