guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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