Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize