I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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