East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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