Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
