He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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