I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
