I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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