If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
