dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
