smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
