I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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