i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize
