He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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