rhymes with "ouble enetration"
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
