I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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