I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
