I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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