that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
