i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
