New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
