i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
