Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
