I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
