This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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