if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
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